Eat, Drink, & Be Wary

Researchers have discovered that chocolate produced some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't remember what they are. Matt Lauer on NBC's Today Show

I'm one of those rare people who eat tofu not because it's healthy, but because I actually like it. This may have something to do with the fact that I'm also one of those people who sautes my tofu in bacon fat. Actually, I might be the only person who does that. Kind of the equivalent of my friend, M,  who drinks kombucha tea every day to pump up her immune system and gets regular watsu treatments but still smokes a pack of menthols a day.

Up until a few years ago, I could pretty much eat whatever I wanted (within reason) and not think about it. Then all of a sudden I passed through the halls of metabolic misery on my way to hormone hell and I could no longer throw back a daily bag of peanut M&M's or two scoops of mint chip ice cream without wearing it on my ass the next day. Not to mention that almost everything I put in my mouth makes me blow up like a two-day old carcass on a Death Valley two-track. Or as my son, J, puts it, "You eat, therefore you fart."

I know I need to eat healthier and although I don't consume a lot of sweets or processed foods, I also know that  bodies crave what they're accustomed to getting and this one's accustomed to regular doses of dark chocolate, preferably with nuts. Armed with this knowledge, I'm about to do a refined sugar detox that is sure to kill the chocolate cravings if it doesn't kill me first. On the upside, in the event I do die from withdrawal at least I won't be a bloated corpse.

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