Right Livelihood

It is not doing the things we like to do, but liking the thing we have to do
that makes life blessed. Goethe

Last week we had dinner at Chow Novo to celebrate our friends anniversary and S's birthday in one fell swoop. Sometime between the first bottle of Pinot Gris and a tapas plate of Samosas, the conversation turned to livelihoods. Our friends are nearing retirement, and looking forward to when they can live each day as they choose instead of peddling like mad just to keep pace with yesterday's bills. I replied that I love my work and couldn't imagine doing anything else.

"Well, you have all day to do whatever you want," S commented.

Although it's true that my hours are certainly more flexible than people who work outside the home, it's not just the schedule I love. I love the work itself. In fact, if I were financially endowed, I'd probably practice massage therapy anyway, at least to the degree that my body can sustain the physical demands. Especially if I had the opportunity to offer bodywork to those who most need it, and are the least apt to be able to afford it.

When people complain about their work, I wonder what it is that keeps them stuck. Sure, we all need a paycheck, but if you're not enjoying your work, why aren't you aggressively looking for a job more suited to your needs? And if it's absolutely impossible to change jobs, why not just change your attitude toward your job? Thirteen years ago, I was just beginning my second decade in real estate. When I'd first started, the job was about helping people find a home and helping others find a buyer for theirs. Sounds like a win-win situation, right? It was, mostly, and I loved the challenge of bringing the right buyer and seller together. But then gradually, the closings began to take much longer, as the escrow papers grew from a trust deed and a purchase agreement to a stack of legal forms thicker than Barry Bonds biceps. What was once a fun and rewarding career had become mostly litigation prevention. As one who loathes paperwork, I started thinking about a new livelihood.

At the time I was a single parent of three children, but knew it was better to take a financial risk than come home to them crabby from a job I no longer enjoyed. Besides, I'd always encouraged them to explore and develop their innate gifts, so I needed to mentor that philosophy. A few months later I enrolled at KCHA, and made the segue from guiding people into houses, to guiding the bodies that housed those people. Obviously, I didn't go into massage for the money. Although I'm blessed with a faithful clientele and the opportunity to work with lots of interesting, new people at my Avila gig, when it comes right down to it I do this because I love the work.

Take today, for instance. A bride's mother had booked massages for her daughter and seven of her friends. One of those young women requested a clothed "mat massage" so I put her at the end when I could fold up my table and put down the pad. When her turn came, she looked at the table rather longingly, having watched as six of her friends each returned to their suite blissed out from their massages. It was immediately clear that she was afraid she was too heavy for my table, too embarrassed by her body to undress.

"Are you sure you wouldn't like a table massage?" I asked. "It feels really good."

"I've never had a massage," she said. Moving toward the center of the room, she put her hand on the foam pad. "It feels really soft."

"How about we give it a try? Nothing too deep--just a relaxing, nurturing massage."

"I suppose we could do that," she said.

Half an hour later, as I cradled her head in my hands, I thought about how much I take for granted in this world. How blessed I was to be giving this girl her first massage. How much I love this thing I do.

Technorati Tags: aging, retirement, right livelihood, body image, dieting, weight gain, essay, blog, self image, baby boomers, writing, writers, prose, women, massage therapy, massage

Comments

[Rain]

You are blessed. You have a calling and nobody retires from those. If you someday can't do physically what you do now, you will find other ways to shape people's lives. Jobs, careers, those are things people leave but callings, they never want to. Lucky the person whose calling pays enough to live on

[Fran aka Redondowriter]

You are fortunate, El, to work at what you love--but you have had made sacrifices to do this. Because you don't have the poverty consciousness that I do, you have always taken risks--and yet, we are all in divine order. My daughter loves her job, too, and now that she is recovery and doing so well, she says how grateful she is that she didn't lose it when times were bad. That was a touching story about the first massage. I had my first pedicure when my son Tony got married in 2001, believe it or not.

[annieoddflower]

I don't know how long I have quietly been reading your blog, but long enough to have read various moving accounts of the work you do. It was your writing about your work that first gave me cause to consider that maybe I could shed my own inhibitions about getting a massage.

Finally now, through an odd turn of events, I have worked up my courage and will be going soon to get my very first professional massage (my first of many, I would imagine).

Thank you for writing the stories of your own work in such a gentle and encouraging way. Thank you very much.

[nina]

You have me in tears because I need a massage so badly. Well, that and your lovley writing. I know I could get one here, but it wouldn't be as good as one of yours, I'm quite sure.

[Sue Richards]

Many times in my life, depending on where my spirit sits, it is my massage therapist(s) that I turn to for assurance and support. I have wept, awakened, let go, laughed and been relieved under the gentle pressure of her talented touch. Currently, I go every two weeks, on Monday morning. I manage this on my limited artist budget by reducing useless shopping and curbing my eating out experiences to a dull roar. Should my income increase, it will mean more massage....my dream is daily.

So lovely that you bring such pleasure to others Ellie.

Sue

[gina]

Yes, I'm a bit behind in reading, and therefore a bit late in commenting . . . but I just wanted to say that this was a lovely and joyful post to read. I have often struggled with my desire to be massaged, and my fear that somehow I'm not worthy or deserving of such a luxury, simply because my body is not fit and lean. I've worried that perhaps a massage therapist would find me too unappealing to massage. Of course, I'm grateful that eventually I was able to work through those worries and have thoroughly enjoyed several massages to date. But even so, there is always that lingering, nagging concern that somehow I'm "not good enough". Thank you for sharing this.